Never be ashamed of doing what you need to do to go on.
Some people need calendars, reminders, and agenda books to keep track of their duties. A common practice, but an extreme opinion might postulate that someone who is really responsible or smart or cares about what they are doing wouldn’t need this assistance. This is abrasive and pointing it out doesn’t help anyone magically improve. I don’t think many people actually go around criticizing others for having to mark down important dates on paper.
But then, extrapolate to more customized tools. The unnamed methods and solutions that you develop in order to respond combatively to fear, doubt and pressure. It may be a ritual, a chart on your wall with significance only to you. If you are the kind of person who creates this sort of help for themselves, there’s a good chance you are also the kind of person who might feel embarrassed about it, for making some big push into the world to make up for your natural inadequacy.
This is a silent storm in the hearts of people full of fear. Passionate efforts leave one exposed and vulnerable and the doubt just spills in like the lake behind a broken dam. Even something done with good intentions or to shore up a weakness is somehow wrong or done for the wrong reason. It creeps into life in ways enormous and microscopic that only the one person seems to understand. Whether you want to pursue a non-”traditional” career or you have a grid of checkboxes for diligent vitamin-taking purposes, there is that cold voice. “Why can’t you just suck it up and function like everyone else who doesn’t have to deal with your problems?”
Well, that person is sucking it up, and is exerting an effort to make a change, and good for them. They are being themselves, and being kind to themselves. They are fighting.
Sometimes people need help or receive inspiration from really weird and minor things. What if someone was typing an e-mail or a blog post or something, and they typoed and put accept instead of except, and then realized “whoa! what a Freudian slip! this ‘mistake’ really speaks to me about where i am in my life and how i feel about it. what if i became being more tolerant and mindful instead of exclusionary and judgmental? i shall begin to get well today.”
I see this all the time. Those who like their epiphanies with a little more literary dignity start thinking ARE YOU KIDDING ME. HOW CAN ANYONE HONESTLY DERIVE SIGNIFICANCE FROM SOMETHING SO IDIOTIC. APPRECIATION FOR TOLERANCE AND MINDFULNESS CAN ONLY BE ACHIEVED BY EITHER ALREADY KNOWING IT OR READING THE POWER OF NOW.
While one party has accepted themselves and become a weakness-overcoming engine who can find inspiration buried deep in the mundane, one is proud, yet threatened, and revealing quite a lot about themselves in their judgment.