Well that was fast, wasn’t it? I blinked and landed in 2013. It goes by far too fast for me, but then, it always does. The magic of the holidays replaced by a new, subtler magic – the space and possibility only a new year can bring. Relief that comes from a new chance to choose… everything. Do we do things exactly the same, or entirely differently? How do you want to feel, and why? What needs to change so you can feel this way? Life exists in the space between these questions, but the din of our days drowns out the answers.
This year, I want to feel strong, capable, satisfied. Useful, above all. You may want the same- to know yourself, so you can show up as your most helpful and be relevant to others. You want to become wiser, spend your life well, and present a clear expression of yourself to the world. Uncover everything there is to uncover about yourself, and you become useful. My work, my business, every feeling I have is anchored in how to do this.
It starts with a question.
Conventional wisdom rarely works for me, so my life is an experiment. 2012 epitomized self-experimentation and when something worked, I paid attention. Below are the nuggets that stuck and lessons I’ll bring into 2013. Nuggets work. They’re all I can remember and sometimes all I need.
Without our permission, 2013 landed on our shoulders and with it the questions of what to keep and what to change. Approach these questions like an opportunity. A new year has arrived untainted. There is space again to make yourself and your life what you want it to be. It is here. It is yours. It is mine.
Perhaps one nugget is all you need…
Confusion is as important as clarity. I spent the summer of 2011 confused and scared to launch my business. After reeling in confusion, I emailed my friends to ask: what would they do if they were me? All that week, answers came in. I felt immense gratitude. My mentors are gifted, talented, generous people. But even as I took it in, I couldn’t act right away and I didn’t know why. Why wasn’t I taking advice from some of the smartest people in my world? I wasn’t taking it because it wasn’t about theadvice; it was about my readiness to take it. And I wasn’t ready. I needed time to be confused, time where nothing made sense, but where I didn’t panic. I needed to exist in my churn . Like frozen yogurt. Frozen yogurt turns into a swirl only at the very end. Every second it exists before that beautiful swirl, it exists as gravy, churning in the mixer where it gets thick and gritty enough for a swirl. I needed to alchemize my confusion – churn it and mix it and not skip the necessary step of being confused. But such is life, right? You don’t realize the swirl is right around the corner.
*Side note. If you feel guilt, shame, or insecurity asking for help, email me and I’ll help you learn. In order to meet your full potential you need to learn this because real leaders do it well. And since you lead your life, this is a must. I’ve seen it time and again when successful people ask for help from the right people, and I see it in myself. I can ask for help without fear and thus get exactly what I need. People respond in rich and deep ways when you do this and it is a hallmark of success to be able to.
Self-belief is the highest priority. Even in the midst of confusion and overwhelm, the space to believe in yourself totally exists. Perhaps here more than anywhere. When the world’s back is to you, when the ground feels like the only safe space to curl up, when every friend in sight knows less about you than the next, to believe in yourself is truly life or death. But you must believe. To know that you are good enough no matter what, that you’ll achieve what you’re here to do despite obstacle and monsters and failure after failure, is magic. It is magnetic. And when you have nowhere to turn it’s okay, because then you will turn to yourself. Though a mighty effort, you will somehow help yourself. This will make you strong. And when you start believing the right story about what you’re here to do, the right people will start believing it too. They’ll see you. They’ll get in a buggy and join you. And then you’ll have friends and mentors and resources to make you feel like you won’t need self-belief, which is good for a while. But then you’ll realize you do need it, as much as before, and in fact, it’s the only thing you need. Believe in yourself in 2013 and watch your life unfold in ways you didn’t know were possible.
Please take and share a nugget, and more importantly, create your own. 2013 is going to be your year. Can’t you feel it?