Who thinks this? Let us extrapolate to a variety of topics. The tantras of low self-esteem! (Or is it mantras?) To the big bad dog-eat-dog go-get-’em types, these look like short hurdles, or maybe just one of them is tall. But sometimes Type B people want to be successful too.
-I am not shrewd enough to make the sale
-I am not creative enough to generate elusive ~*~NeW iDeAs~*~
-I am not perceptive enough to deduce what this person is thinking
-I am not charming enough to build a social network
-I am not attractive or talented enough to have confidence
-I am not adaptable enough to belong here
-Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, guess I’ll go eat some wo-o-orms
-Everything I touch gets ruined
-God hates me
-I too miserable of an excuse for a human being to conquer my fears
It’s true. If you think the guitar is broken, you won’t bring down the house with it. This is an important post for me to write and I realize that a lot of you forward-thinking entrepreneurial types have opinions of yourselves that range from “okay” to “God”. I am being silly about it but some people, even if they aren’t trying to make money or help people, are still crippled by fear because, dang it, they’re just dopes. Or so they think. Fear.less contributor Karen Armstrong is very big on compassion, so I invite you “I-love-me” types to indulge and nurture those who are less existentially fortunate than you, because they could still have a lot to offer even if they don’t think so. “No time to waste on wet blankets!” Whatever dude. You don’t impress Karen Armstrong. Or me, Deputy Editor Supreme of Fear.less.
Did you hear that? You still have a lot to offer, even if you don’t think so! You could be wrong about you! Ignore the urge to point out “yeah, being wrong, how very like me” and perhaps consider the possibility that you do not know yourself as well as you think you do. Maybe you have been trying for 20, 25, 30 years or more, but for some of that time you were incontinent… the point is that if you think so negatively of yourself there are probably a lot of arenas you haven’t tested yourself in.
Do it. Leave your comfort zone. Start the album, shoot for the interview, get the girl. It terrifies but it rewards. You have nothing to lose and so much to gain. You will learn about you and the world and your place in it. It doesn’t matter if it comes from real resolve or from coincidentally productive fatalism. Even if you totally blow and the world totally blows, if you just admit to yourself that there could be a chance that it is not true (since you have not met everyone or been everywhere or done everything in the world) then you can begin to turn things around. It’s okay if it’s a slow process (hint: it is) and it’s okay if you still get crapped on. It’s really okay. fear.less contributor Pema Chodron has written books on how to view things as okay and be your own friend. Check one out.
I feel like I am being harsh, but I hope it is interpreted more as Vigor and Inspiration because I used to think I suck, and now I think I am okay. (Partly thanks to the art of BLOGGING.) Treat yourself gently and find people who treat you gently, not like me, who Tells You What To Do. Thoroughly hopeless people like Charlie Brown and John Locke are exclusively television inventions.
You ARE at the very least an adequate enough person to throw yourself together and bare your teeth at fear. I personally have never met a decent-hearted person that I thought was beyond redemption. Fear is for everyone. Consider that courage is, too.
Thanks for this article! Many times I have found, that I myself, have stood in the way of my own development. I have been the barrier to change and improvement which can only help me.
But when I realized that I was getting in my way, things started to look much better. Admittedly, the fear lingers on a while long, but it becomes less and less each time. It’s still here for me, and we keep glaring at one another. I do know that it’s just a matter of time before it all goes away and I become fear.less.
I needed this! Thanks!