No, not this I hope.

After working on and planning out later issues of fear.less, I can’t help but use the future as a salve for the wounds of the present. I have much work to do this week that is unrelated to fear.less and it will be agonizing. But when it is done I will be, at least for a while, in a state where I can focus on things that really reward me. This right here.

I’ve alluded to this technique in previous posts but as I am consumed by it now I just have to suggest it outright, to everyone who has an imagination or at least is willing to accept the possibility that they do. It’s a meditation thing. You’re in the troublesome present now, but close your eyes, let your mind’s eye bathe in thoughtful psychedelia, and picture a future where the present’s hassles are things of the pastles. A realistic future, no flying away on dragons or anything. I imagine my work finished and my mind free to focus on this.

One time last year my friend and I went out for a run late at night and found ourselves caught in a wild spring storm. Torrential rains, howling winds, you know the drill. We took shelter in a building a long way from our apartment and, since we were basketcases afraid of getting struck by lightning, sat there a while, waiting for the storm to stop. It showed no signs of doing so. This was pretty frustrating. I sat there thinking, not frantically wanting for warmth and dryness and safety, but sculpting it in my head – the glorious release of changing out of soggy clothes, the relieving anticlimax of falling onto my bed in triumph. Feeling better, we laughed and talked for a while, and then we hauled home at warpspeed. Upon making it through the front door, arms raised, we danced like crazy people in front of several confused but clearly moved people. The relief was double – not only had I made it home, but back in the rain I had sewn myself a coat made of a situation and I discovered that it fit comfortably.

Personally I have a tough time with meditation and thought exercises but I find this one stark enough to make a difference for me.

And, since I mentioned them I may as well comment on them: the issues of fear.less we’re working on are stupidly good. Stay tuned.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 16th, 2010 at 2:15 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.