Have you ever read the Fear.less blog and exclaimed “What the hell? He’s not talking about fear!” That’s wrong. You are wrong. I am always talking about fear.
A lot of people (conservative estimate: a bajillion) have said that fear and love are the two most basic human emotions, and I agree. (Maybe one day you will see Love.less. I mean more.) Basic emotions tend to evolve into many different forms that are often related. Imagine fear is a chameleon. It can change color based on its mood, still certainly a chameleon, but manifesting in ways dependent on the situation. And, if it also happens to be camouflaged, you might not be able to see that it’s fear at all.
Fear is the parent of anger, sadness, hatred, ignorance and low self-esteem. And probably many other things, but I am trying to avoid falling into the habit of writing long lists. When you take a deep breath, give yourself a compliment or research something, you are really targeting the angry/incompetent/stupid part of the problem, and this chips away at your overarching fear.
We address a wide variety of fears in our magazine. When you’re being pulled over by a cop, the techniques suggested by the neuroscientists we interviewed for managing the fight-or-flight response will come in most handy. This situation has little to do with depression or self-loathing and is a more primal fear. But if you’re nervous about beginning to teach a group of people, maybe because you don’t know how or you think you are not cut out for it, that’s when Ben Zander’s suggestions for gentle, nurturing instruction will give you the tools you need to be a better teacher in your own eyes.
So sometimes these blog posts will look more like they belong in Hate.less or Cry.less or Commit.less.arson but you should think of them as chapters in the Fear.less story instead of negligent diversions from our goal.
In fact, when you find yourself experiencing a higher negative emotion, try to figure out what the corresponding fear is. If you dislike your boss, is it because you fear living in a world where the dishonest and inconsiderate can have positions of power, or because you fear the affronts to your self-worth that come from him breathing down your neck every day?
Fear-reducing observation of the day: at least you are not this thing.
I am that lizard more than you can imagine…Keep fighting that reptile.. Great post!
BB/RW
You’re right! Fear masquerades itself all the time and comes to visit in different guises every day.
So, you’re right to write about these different guises.
But you’re wrong about the lizard. Lizard looks cool!
Steve
it’s true. i actually like lizards.
one could interpret the chameleon’s color-changing based on mood as openness and honesty, which is something to be admired.
“lizard brain” is the go-to word nowadays for that primal, fearful voice inside your head that says no to leaving your comfort zone, but really there are things to appreciate about most animals. the concept should be renamed to an animal nobody likes, like slugs.
but then inevitably someone out there will say “now hold on a minute. god, i love slugs.”
eventually i hope to hit all the bases and say something that even slug fanatics can use to change their perspective on fear.
I am glad I am not a scaly reptile, but there are times when I feel like one. Our brains just have not caught up with how nuts the modern world is.
It’s really irritating when something does not immediately have the possibility to make you dead, we are still afraid of it.
We are the only species (scientific types, please correct me) that can worry about things that have not even happened yet, and are likely to not occur.
one of my favorite quotes from fear.less founder ishita’s fiancé: human beings are the only species that can choose to stop growing.
because we have so many more ways in which to grow than other organisms, we have more ways of crippling ourselves too.